A Vocaloid Valentine
by JYAS
Summary: It's Valentine's Day, and Miku's away, so the rest of the Vocaloids are ready to play. Rin has plans for the occasion, and Len gets wrapped up in them, of course. But what's the meaning of Valentine's Day to a bunch of robots, anyway? LenxRin, others mentioned or hinted. Mostly romance, lots of comedy.


**Disclaimer: why do we even have to write these things, anyway? I mean, its called 'fanfiction' for a reason, right? It just...well, I guess I don't own Vocaloid, so there; I've stated the obvious.**

**Happy Valentine's Day, everyone! At least, I'm pretty sure its Valentine's Day for most of the world when I post this...**

* * *

Miku was busy doing a concert; the UTAUs were off on a tour; Master had gone with them as an advisor (bad timing on his part, and he had made it abundantly clear how much he regretted it). But with those absences, the Vocaloid house was currently occupied by 7 people - plus one dead goldfish which was quite a lesson about "life" for all of them.

First was Rin and Len: the 2-for-1 package infamously marketed as the "Kagamine twins" (though they themselves weren't quite sure about how related they actually were). Then there was Kaito, their airheaded yet lovable onii-chan (though whether he deserved that level of respect was highly contested). Meiko, the supposed responsible figure, was more often drunk than not (though there was speculation over whether she was ever sober, or even if that would be an improvement). Luka was the actually responsible and mature one (though her patience could easily be stressed by deliberately annoying persons left unnamed). There was Gakupo, a self-proclaimed samurai (though the only proof he had was his sword and outfit).

And finally, Neko-chama, Rin's cat (though whether the cat counts as a person to anyone other than Rin was doubtful). But everyone just sort of went with it because (1) could singing androids be categorized as people anyway, and (2) this fanfiction writer doesn't want to die by road roller.

The house was quiet - a miracle, considering that said androids almost always had some sort of party, some sort of guest, some sort of crisis, or some linear combination thereof going on, so it really was questionable how long the peace would last.

The answer came a regrettable two seconds after one of them (Luka, but don't tell) dared to wonder. There wasn't much done in response, since the norm seemed to have some sort of mystical protection by the universe, manifesting in anyone who acted against it mysteriously losing only one sock.

Or that was just their justification, and they were all just too lazy.

Yes, such was the daily life of the Vocaloid household.

* * *

**A Vocaloid Valentine**

* * *

"I've always wanted to say this to you, but couldn't find the words... Now that I have the courage, won't you please go out with me?"

Rin bit her lip, a sign that she was nervous. Her fists clenched and unclenched rhythmically, but her chest didn't heave a single breath. Would he say yes...?

"Um...I-"

"Riiiiin!" There was the sound of the door flying open, and Rin whirled around. There stood Len in the doorway, glaring. "Would you stop watching that stupid show already!? It's so loud that the entire house can hear it!"

The female Kagamine glared right back. "It was the Valentine's Day special, Len! If you hadn't interrupted me, I would have finally known if Ryuki-sama said yes!"

Len twitched. "'Ryuki-sama'...?"

"Yes! He's the most handsome, wonderful, brilliant man in the whole world!"

"Except he isn't real."

Rin grabbed a pillow (the one that Neko-chama _had _been, quite contentedly, sleeping on) and chucked it at Len's face. "_You're_ not real either, so you can't talk!"

"Wha-" He raised his arms to fend off the pillow onslaught. "Come on, Rin, that - hey! - doesn't even make any sense! And stop, you might hurt Nekochi!"

"Just like you're just a robot, Ryuki-sama is _just _a guy from an anime. See?"

Len sighed. "Hey, look who's talking. So, does this 'Ryuki-sama' have blue eyes and a love for ice cream, too?"

Rin blushed. "Shut up!"

"Just a guess."

"Well, anyway, you're wrong Ryuki-sama doesn't like sweets."

"But he's got blue hair?"

"..." The silence told Len he was right, and he grinned. Then he remembered the issue at hand.

"Hey, you said you wanted to make Valentine's cookies for him, right? So are we ever going to do it or not?"

Rin looked back at the TV, which was now rolling credits to some ridiculously cheesy pop song (one that she could recite word-for word, by the way). "Seeing as you _already _ruined my show, I suppose we'll do it now. But I'll run you over with my road roller next time!

Len paled. "Oh, god, please don't. I die enough deaths in our songs, concerts, and videos already. And it's not _your _road roller."

"Yes it is. Anyway, hurry up."

Len mumbled something under his breath before following. It went something like why was she telling him to hurry up when he was the one who got her. At least they arrived in the the kitchen with minimal arguing.

The Vocaloids didn't, technically, have to consume food - they just recharged during sleep - but Master had given them the capability to eat food, and ordered them to as a way of seeming more "normal." Unfortunately, the somewhat insane scientist got carried away with their personalities and refused to give all of them the ability to cook decent food because it "damaged the aesthetic."

They found this out the hard way, and ever since, Meiko was _not _to be in the kitchen.

They could taste, too, each with their individual preferences. Meiko liked things spicy, for example, and Kaito obviously liked ice cream-I mean, sweets. Gakupo liked a rougher texture. Luka didn't really like anything too strong, so most of her cooking came out pretty plain. Rin liked crunchy things, and Len liked soft foods. Miku's favorite taste was...leeks.

And that was the undeniable truth. Master had actually programmed her that way: her _only _preference was leeks. If the food had them, it was delicious. If it didn't, it was disgusting. That was the sum of Miku's palette, leading to some dishes that were the widely accepted to be not suitable for consumption.

Needless to say, she was never allowed back into the kitchen, either.

And also needless to say, that didn't stop her.

They would have mutinied against Master for this reason alone, but after Miku ever so sweetly offered the man a bite of her leek cake, they felt that he had gotten his own punishment.

Well, in any case (getting back on topic), Rin and Len had finished laying things out in the kitchen. It was at this moment that Len decided to change the subject away from a discussion of who had more rights to the road roller, saying, "So, Rin, can you cook?" It wasn't really meant as a serious question; Len _assumed _that Rin could do as much when she asked for his help. But the (progressively lengthy) uncomfortable silence seemed to suggest otherwise. "H-Have you _ever _cooked before?"

"O-Once."

"And?"

"..."

"Rin?"

"I-It wasn't my fault, _okay_?!" she snapped defensively - not that Len had said anything. "I wanted to make some soup for him and no one was home, so...!"

"... ... ..."

There was another long silence. Then Len gasped, clapping as if to say, "Oh!"

"Oh! You mean that time when Kaito-nii was sick and then we found him in the hospital because we thought it had gotten wors-"

"Yes, yes, yes, that's the one!" Rin screeched. "B-But it's not like I meant to, okay?! It was just a terrible mistake, okay?!"

"Fine, fine, I get it!" Len held up his hands in submission to preclude Rin beating him to death. "So you can't cook, then."

"That's what I just said, dummy!"

"Ow, ow, I know! I'm just thinking aloud!"

"Then _don't_!"

"Fine!" Len sighed, trying to ignore his headache as he thought. Obviously, he'd be doing all of the actual cooking (best that Kaito _didn't _end up in the hospital a second time), but what could Rin do in that case? "Okay, get out the decorations you want."

"Then I'll get out all of the pink stuff!"

"N-No pink, please."

Rin frowned. "What do you _mean_, 'no pink'? What's Valentine's cookies without pink?!"

"Well, what would Kaito-nii do with pink cookies? Better yet, why would Kaito-nii want anything edible for Valentine's Day, anyway? Why not just tell him how you feel straight out?"

"You're missing the point."

"I don't think I am; you want to say you love him, right? _That's _the point."

"No, no, _no_! Maybe that's what you'd do, Len, but when I confess my feelings, it's completely different!"

"...Right..."

"Look, just trust me, okay?" Rin urged, searching the cabinet until she found what she was looking for. "And you need to get into the mood more, too. I have just the thing."

Len didn't have to look around to know what she had in her hands. "I'm not going to do it, Rin."

"Come on~ It's for a good cause."

"Your sadistic tendencies do not constitute a 'good cause.'"

"But you've never worn it, even though I gave it to you as a Christmas present..."

Len sighed, put down the spatula, and rounded on her. He glared at the pink, frilly apron. "Ever wonder _why_?" This was the reason he didn't cook anymore: to avoid Rin's frilly apron of Doom.

It took a full 10 minutes to convince Rin to let the idea go, by which time the creme-colored, circular mounds of dough were already in the oven. Of course, _now _that Len finally had time to waste on arguing with her, she shut up.

"You know, Miku-nee may be a leek fanatic, but that doesn't mean that she's an incompetent cook. Why didn't you ask _her_ for help?"

"Because she's at a concert."

"Yeah, well, if you plan better next time, you won't be doing this last minute." The response to this was a punch in the arm. "Ow! What was that for?"

"Being a jerk."

"I'm just pointing out the obvious."

"Well, don't!" Rin snapped, storming out of the room. Len stood, staring dumbfounded, until the oven beeped.

* * *

"Rin?" Len knocked once more on the door. "Rin, just _open_ it, please."

"Learn to read the mood, pervert!" It took a second for Len to process that that accusation - and subsequent thwack - was not directed at him, but rather to someone on the other side of the bend in the hallway. Recognizing the speaker as Luka, he felt a pang of jealousy.

He could go see who she was talking to...

...or stay here and comfort Rin.

If he left now, he knew Rin would be even more upset, but if he stayed, would he ever know if he had even a tiny chance with Luka?

He had to choose only one.

"...Rin, come on. You can't lock me out of my own room."

"It's not 'your' room and it's not your apron and it's not not your road roller either and that's why I'll run you over with it next time!"

_Okay: what the heck?_ "Look, Rin, the oven beeped. If you don't come out soon, the cookies'll-"

"Oh my god!" came the unmuffled shriek as Rin flung open the door. "If they've burned, I'll kill you!"

Len made sure to stick his food in the crook of the door. "I was lying. I wouldn't do that to you."

Rin glared down at the triumphant foot, seemingly mocking her folly. "But I _would_ crush your foot, jerk."

Len shrugged and stepped inside. "Maybe you would, but it wouldn't help ice the cookies, or make you feel better."

Rin humphed and crossed her arms. "Actually, I would feel much better."

"You're right, you probably would. But don't, please?"

"I can't now that you've moved, idiot," she replied, but it came out more as a sullen mumble. Len noted that her anger was melting away with every word. "Anyway, what do you want?" Whoops, there it was again.

"It's my room, too. Aren't I allowed to be in it?"

Rin had no reply, but that didn't mean she was done raging. No, Len could see by the fire in her eyes that she really, really wanted to say a scathing retort - wanted to wring his neck, more like - but wishes didn't really weigh as much as horses, so he was safe. She seemed to grudgingly come to terms with this and gave up. "I have cookies to decorate," she declared and marched out of the room. Len followed.

In the end, they somehow managed to create a sort of system without a single word passing between them. It was this sort of coordination that strengthened their 'twin' reputation. Len would cover the cookies in icing - white, pink, or red - and then Rin would use a tube of some other kind of sugary liquid to draw a heart or circle on it. Finally, she'd occasionally sprinkle the red, white, pink, or assorted sprinkles over the top and call it done. This didn't take long.

Okay, so Rin couldn't cook (not edibles, anyway), but she could decorate. This was yet another example of how she and Len were the same but opposites. Len could actually cook very well, but he preferred decorating, the same way Rin seemed to be enjoying herself (but stubbornly not smiling). It was just a passing thought that gave him some odd sense of pride.

Casually, Len dropped a paper box onto the counter - just as Rin began to wonder what to carry the confections in. It was overall simple, but pleasant visually: white background, small red hearts dotted here and there, big heart-shaped, transparent film of plastic on opposite sides to show off the contents. Rin, internally, couldn't disagree with the male Kagamine's taste, but she was too stubborn to thank him as she loaded it up.

* * *

Len went back to reading a book in his room, since there wasn't really anything a boy could do for Valentine's Day - and even if there was, he probably wouldn't do it. The only reason he noticed the date at all was Rin's incessant pleas leading up to it, demanding (she wasn't asking) his help. If he had known it would put her in such a bad mood, he would have declined. Rin in a bad mood wasn't just scary; it also left him with a feeling of guilt. But hey, he hadn't really done anything wrong.

It was at least an hour later when Len looked over at the clock and realized that in all that time, he hadn't read more than a page. What _had_ he been doing, then? Obsessing over Rin.

What if she was still angry?

What if she was so angry, she scared Kaito away?

What if she was crying right now because he rejected her?

What if it was all Len's fault that she wasn't happy?

These thoughts had been nagging at his mind, preventing him from relaxing, for too long. The more rational side of Len's mind was saying that it shouldn't matter - Rin decided to get angry, so it wasn't his problem - but the more caring side couldn't shake the unjustified guilt. He sighed, shook his head in a final effort to clear it, and looked back down at the book.

He was starting at the top of that page again.

Okay, so he could sit here and _not _read, _or_ he could see how Rin's confession was going. If she looked fine, he could rest easy; if she wasn't...well, Len would handle that when he got there. After all, what could go wrong?

Pretending he hadn't just jinxed himself, Len put down the book and opened the door. Where would Rin confess? Probably as soon as she saw Kaito. But the ice cream lover had been in his room, just like the rest of them, so the only place she was likely to come across him was when he was going down to the kitchen. The second floor hallway was a good bet.

As he climbed up the stairs, Len noticed he was right. There was the sound of voices, one similar to his own, one far deeper. Carefully lightening his footsteps, Len reached the hallway and settled down beside the wall, expecting a long conversation. Wasn't eavesdropping wrong? Well, not when it was your not-twin. Probably.

And anyway, Rin liked to spy on him all the time.

He heard Rin's voice, and concluded that she had just run into the bluenette. _Great timing, then,_ he congratulated himself. "Ah, K-Kaito-kun...h-hello."

"Hey, Rin-chan."

"Um, so...where are you going?" Len mentally sighed. Rin was acting like an idiot; where did Kaito _always _go?

"To get some ice cream!" came the cheerful reply. Len internally smirked, telling Rin. "_ha, told you_" telepathically. Er, not that she could hear.

"Oh, really? W-Well, I'm sorry to interrupt you, but there's something I h-have to say..."

"All right. What is it, Rin-chan?"

"Well, you k-know what day it is, right?"

"Of course."

"So that's why I have something to confess to you-"

"You're an ice cream fanatic, too?!" Kaito interrupted enthusiastically. Len could almost see Rin's jaw drop, as his own did. How had Kaito reached _that _conclusion?

"Um...no?"

"Oh. But I thought you were asking me what day it was...?"

"I-I did."

"And today's...the cotton candy ice cream festival, right?"

"..." Len actually buried his head in his hands. _Seriously, Kaito-nii? Why would anyone but you know that? And why is there even a festival for something like that? But the real question was how would Rin take it?_ "Oh, I...see."

"Yeah, all fans of ice cream go to this big party in the evening. You weren't asking to come with me?"

"No..." Len could hear the hope falling out of Rin's voice, and felt a twinge of disappointment. He wished he could support her, but there wasn't anything he could do from his hiding place. "B-But, Kaito-kun, do you know what _else _today is?"

"Hm...no?" It was a genuine obliviousness that only Kaito could really possess. "I've been so preoccupied with the festival I haven't really thought it over. After all, getting Mei-chan a registration in time wasn't easy..."

"What?" Rin sounded crushed.

"I agreed to take Mei-chan with me, since she really wanted to. And that takes a registration with one of these neat little cards, see, to show that you're an official ice cream fan. I just barely finished in time for us to go together."

"Right." It was a mumble, but Rin's voice soon perked up. "I see, Kaito-kun! Well, you said you were going to the kitchen, right? I won't keep you any longer then..." And running footsteps grew louder.

"Wait! Rin-chan!" They stopped. "Didn't you say today was something else? Didn't you have something to say to me?"

"Oh, that...nah, it was nothing!"

"But that box in your hand..."

"It's for something else!" A laugh. "I was just wondering if you saw Len because he ate my oranges. It's nothing!"

"Oh...okay, then..."

Len was startled by Rin turning the corner - so quickly, in fact, that she ran right into him. "Ah!"

"S-Sorry," Len apologized with rare gentleness. But before Rin could brush past him, he gripped her arm. "Hey, Rin..."

"Leave me alone. Please." It was a hoarse whisper of a plea. Len almost did let go of her there, but he caught himself.

"It's okay to cry," he offered, watching the grimace on her face. She wouldn't meet his eyes. "That was rough, right?"

Rin didn't say anything until she had dragged him into their room. The door was slammed behind them, and all at once, she was sobbing into his chest. The walls probably didn't do enough to mask the sound, since every breath was ear-splitting. "He...h-he..." She never got further than that. Len rubbed soothing circles on her back - something he had heard was supposed to help, even if he didn't know how.

For some reason, he found his mind wandering to why they had emotions. If it meant an unrequited love, or a broken heart, why were they, androids, given this burden, when they could be spared? Seeing Rin, wailing in his arms, made him think it all terribly unfair.

"I know," Len replied quietly, and Rin's own crying soon met his volume. "I'm sorry." It didn't help that Kaito hadn't even turned her down directly. Len didn't think very kindly of their nii-chan at that point. He knew that Kaito wasn't an openly malicious person, but he couldn't help feeling that he ought to be just a little less oblivious.

Rin made all of his logic, all of his reasoning, disappear. All that mattered, in the end, was whether she was smiling. That was probably why he so often let her make things his fault, his problem, even when they weren't. And the reason for this was...

Rin's sobs had silenced, so that she was just standing in Len's arms. He decided to risk talking now. "I'll get you some oranges, if you want. And I hid the keys to the road roller underneath my pillow." He led Rin over to the bed so she could sit down.

"Len, I..."

"It's okay. I'll be back in a moment." He turned to the door, wondering how many oranges to bring. He was interrupted by a tug on his shirt.

"I...don't want the oranges."

Len was shocked. "_You _don't want oranges? But you always eat tons of them when you're upset."

"Yes, I do."

"And...?"

"But...I don't want you to go," she said embarrassedly. "Kaito-kun left me, and now you, too?"

The male sighed and sat down beside her, though his heart was fluttering. "Okay, I won't go."

"...What did I do wrong?" Rin finally asked quietly. It was more thoughtful than whiny. "I get that I'm loud and annoying and young and violent, but what did I do wrong?"

"Nothing," Len answered, because that was the only thing he could really say. "Kaito-nii was just being cruelly insensitive-"

"Don't, Len. We both know that isn't who he is." Len looked down guiltily. "Heh. Look, the cookies have broken," she pointed out. "They weren't even mine, and I broke them. Maybe that's why I wasn't good enough."

Len clenched his fists and tried to remember to remain calm. But every time he closed his eyes, he saw those smiles that Rin had directed only at the bluenette's back. He could clearly recall the look of concentration on her face as she decorated each cookie. He could hear her enthusiastically nagging him to help her with Valentine's Day. He had etched in his mind every detail of the light pink blush that dusted her cheeks as she admitted she liked their nii-chan. Then he remembered the way that Kaito had so innocently crushed her hopes.

She shouldn't have made cookies. She shouldn't have gotten so worked up over him. She shouldn't have gotten her hopes up at all. But that was who Rin was, and Len, for all his complaining, wouldn't change it for the world. He couldn't, anyway. But just the way Rin couldn't be not-Rin, Len couldn't be not-Len. _"Maybe that's what _you'd_ do, Len."_ She was right; that was what he'd do. "Hey, I love you."

It was at this moment that it occurred to him that perhaps this wasn't the best time to tell her that. Maybe White Day would have been better; maybe not when she'd just been inadvertently dumped would have been better. But Len could be insensitive and abrupt in his own way. Well, he _thought _he was helping.

In any case, Rin's face was turning redder and redder with no signs of stopping. Len almost wanted to take a photo. Somehow, he was pretty calm about all of this, but maybe because he had said that line many times before. 'Hey, I love you,' was a thing that they just said to each other because they were close. But something inside of Rin must have felt the same way, or she wouldn't be blushing like that, right?

Er...so maybe Len's logic was flawed.

"Wh..." Rin's mouth was learning how to speak again, but her brain hadn't quite connected yet. "Why would I love you?"

Okay, so maybe this was a not-so-good idea.

"I mean, you've got to be the most dense person ever if you're telling me this _now_-"

_Really _not good idea.

"-when I've just been dumped-"

Maybe the worst possible idea.

"-when I'm still getting over my love-"

Maybe it shouldn't have been said at all.

"-But I suppose that no matter what I'd do, you'll never change, right?"

Or maybe it was the best thing he could have said.

Rin turned her head to the side, completely failing at the pathetic attempt to hide her embarrassment. "L-Look, I'll have you know that I have a lot of complaints about you."

"Yeah, I know, I know."

"You're really bad at this romance thing."

"Yeah, you know that."

"You seem to really not be ashamed at all of your bad timing."

"I am. Really."

"But you're smiling like an idiot."

"Because my Rin is blushing for me."

Rin glared. "Who's 'yours'?!"

Len laughed. Rin's shriek had woken Neko-chama, who lazily jumped onto her lap and curled up again.

"And besides, it's Valentine's Day."

"Apologies for the bad timing."

"Where's my chocolate?"

"I didn't make any. Sorry. But you _did_ say that I'm the type of person who wouldn't do anything like that, right?"

"Right, the lazy kind."

"You mean the direct kind." Len frowned. "You're really sidestepping the question."

"What question?! You just told me how you felt!"

Len sighed. "The _implicit _question is, 'do you feel the same way'?"

"What if I said 'no'?"

"_Are _you going to?"

"You don't play fair."

"Hey, says the girl who made me make her cookies for her so she could confess to someone else."

Rin's eyes widened and she backed up. "I'm...sorry." She meant it genuinely.

Len shook his head. "Don't be. I agreed, right?"

"Yeah, but..." Each moment, she seemed to get more and more the implication of that, and she looked guiltier and guiltier. It wasn't an expression that suited her often shameless face. Len didn't like it.

"If you keep looking like that, I'll have to kiss you." Rin punched him. "Ow."

"That didn't really hurt."

"Maybe you like to call it 'playful teasing' or whatever, but it actually is painful, you know."

"You've gone through worse."

"That's not what I mean..."

She crossed her arms and huffed. "_Fine_, if you don't allow me to punch you, then I'll just have to do this instead." She threw something cardboard-like at Len's face, which he only barely managed to catch. If Rin took up baseball, she'd have the most fantastic aim.

Len examined the thing in his hands. "You're trying to kill me with cookies?"

Rin stomped her foot. "No...! Well, maybe! But if you caught them, you can't give them back!"

Len raised an eyebrow. "You mean you're giving them to me."

"Y-You heard what I said!"

"You gave me cookies."

"Are you always going to be this hopeless romantic? Like, god, I liked you better when you were criticising me all the time."

"Sorry. But I'm just really happy. Even if you _are _giving me the cookies _I _made, and you've crushed them." Rin hit him on the head. "Ow!"

"If you're so happy, then find a recording of my show. I want to know what happened to Ryuki-sama!"

Len sighed. Things weren't really very different than before - but maybe he liked it this way.

* * *

**Ta da! Now a few notes for those who want them; those who don't, please review anyway. ^^**

**(1) The cat's name. I came up with it based on 'Neko-sama.' Yes, Len has nicknamed the cat 'Nekochi.' It's shorter.**

**(2) I have no idea if there is a blue-haired man named 'Ryuki' who doesn't like sweets in some anime.**

**(3) I have no idea if there is a cotton candy ice cream festival.**

**(4) Maybe for next year's Valentine's Day, I'll write the Luka/Gakupo and Meiko/Kaito chapters. Tell me what you think.**


End file.
